Redeemer

I think it's about time for a post. Maybe a little past time... The past few months or so I have been battling anxiety. I'm not talking about just being stressed out or having a few panic attacks here and there... No, I was in constant fear. It got bad enough that I didn't go off to school this semester but instead decide to allow myself time to heal and overcome this thing. Thankfully, the Lord is sovereign and provided me with that healing. I would never want to go back and experience the darkness I did those weeks but I am so grateful that it did happen to experience the sweet time with God that I've had. For the first time in my life I appreciated grace. I am so unworthy of such a great love but still He gives it so freely. Even when I was doubting of this love He showed it to me in the most unexpected ways. Twice in one week I had two different women that I had never met before tell me scripture that says God dances and sings over us with our own song he's written for us. Yeah, I thought they were weird too. It was when I found myself feeling so alone in the depth of the night desperate for a savior that I realized the importance of this. If God loves me enough to dance and sing over me... a song he has just written for ME... He loves me enough to deeply hurt when I am hurting. He loves me enough to protect me. He loves me enough to give me security. I had always heard God loved us and I always believed it but all the sudden it was God loves ME. Me?? The maker of the universe cares enough about me to cry with me? The maker of the universe is singing songs for me and rejoicing with me? My mind is still blown! Jesus all the sudden became MY sweet Jesus.

With next semester around the corner and the stresses of school, what to do, where to go, and who to be with it, I have again doubted the love of my Savior. I then was tenderly reminded that I am loved and secure. He never leaves. He is dancing. He is alive. He is my constant. My constant.