I am finding more and more everyday that I don't understand people as well as I thought I did. We are each so different and each so beautiful in our own way. I know that I have come short of things I could accomplish. I am constantly realizing more and more things about myself that I had ignored. Not necessarily bad things either. Things that I told myself I couldn't accomplish, things that I told myself I would never do or never be. If you had told me 5 years ago that I would go to community college for 2 years... I most likely either would have laughed in your face or I would have burst into tears. Many people look at other people's life and pity them for the road they have taken, or where they are in life. I used to. But I see now that it doesn't matter how we expect something to turn out or no matter how badly we want to move or what job we can't live without... Things just don't always turn into what we want, what we expected. Instead, they turn into what God wants for us. What is best for us. That is such a beautiful thing. This time of being home and being so stretched to make friends in a place I was convinced I knew everyone, has turned into a wonderful time of finding out my passions. Mine. Not the group of friends I hang out with, not what I want my passions to be... But what they truly are. It has been a growing time. It's when your life is not what you ever thought it would be and times of loneliness that I am truly grateful for. In fact, I catch myself praying for more of this time. Not because I love my life going completely opposite of how I want it to be, cause I don't, but because there is such beauty in this time. When life takes an unexpected turn, it is for a reason. Maybe, in order to get to that place or person... you need to grow up first, or learn something about yourself, etc.

You're right. I am here and I am lonely. But I want this time of growing to continue until I am absolutely sure of the person I am and when finally the person I am is who I want to be. So, let the lessons continue. Let me be broken and beaten down. Let me be humbled. Cause these are the things that perfect who we are and get us ready for the challenges to come. There is beauty in breaking down, but it is the realization of why we are breaking down, how to fix ourselves again, and finally healing that truly makes us each so different. And thank God we are so different cause it is our differences that pull us to each other, our differences that help us heal one another.