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This summer I have matured and learned more lessons than I ever thought I was capable of learning in such a short period of time. It has been painful. But I have never been more excited about where my life is heading.

I wrote this on the plane home from San Diego. I was so torn. I felt like I belonged there and I had finally found my future, only to get back on a plane and leave it all behind.

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The things I hold dearest are suffocating me slowly.

The passions wrestling to get out of my skin are deteriorating.

Is there no other way?

It's frustrating to me that it is this hard to change.

Change?

Or am I transforming?

Change?

Or am I renewing my soul to what I want the most.

You.

Father, hear my cry.

This heart needs sutures.

This heart was made to love you.

But trust...

My heart aches.

This is too much pain.

Is it too much to ask for my life to be fine?

For my passions to finally be mine.

One after another I get closer.

But you never told me how my heart would behave.

But the beauty in breaking down remains.

My desire is you, these passions come from you.

Change.

Change is delicate.